Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sick of idiots like him

I'm talking about this dude here. I know exactly what he's talking about, and all he had to say is: I tried out teaching, but it didn't suit me. Now I have a new job, feeling good about it. Instead he goes and makes a huge song and dance about it. Well, a maybe just a song ... ahem, without any music. That's cos he doesn't have my musical talent. He's always asking me to make up music to his lyrics, but he doesn't get it. I don't care about him. He's an idiot ... a religious idiot, in fact, who has to make even the most fun stuff in life into a tedius religious lesson. Did you know he won't even have sex with his wife? He says that marriage is about godly partnership. Not about gooey physical stuff. You never know who might be watching. Though, of course, he would say God is always watching. They make nice dinners together instead.

You know what else? This guy once annoyed me by suggesting an idea that I'd already thought of. I was having a conversation with my fan club where they were asking me what I'd do for my next blog title. That was before I ruined it all by my, "high-levels of kookoo and has nothing to do with me or my superb blog." according to Goodthink, the new face on the web who has clearly made it her goal to destroy me by her clever use of psychology. I still haven't forgotten that. And I'm not kookoo. My fan club still love me, even since that episode. They just don't know what to say anymore. They are too in awe of me to comment on any of my posts. You know, this morning, the moment I woke up, I clutched myself in glee and said, "Oooh, It's me!". That's how happy I am about being me, and you'll never bring me down. Never!

But anyway, I was saying... This Dave guy, he suggested I have a blog where I slag off another blog, which would in fact be also my blog. That would be funny, he said. As it happened, I'd already planned on doing that in my very next post, and then I couldn't, because it would be unoriginal. Grrr. Well I decided to leave it until everyone had forgotten that conversation, so that no one would realise I was stuck for ideas. Anyway, another of my fans, zoomtard, said in the same conversation, why didn't I slag off Dave on my website, by putting up a silly picture of him on it. Now, Dave is a dangerous guy to slag, and it seems kind of mean anyway, but sometimes if one wants to keep on being popular, when fiends like Goodthink are trying to bring you down, you just have to give the fans what they want. So I tried drawing Dave from memory. The tiny face in the middle was my first attempt.



It went downhill from there. So I decided to forget about his face. You see, I reckon Dave could take me to pieces given the chance, so I have to take him out in one go, by giving him the most offensive slagging ever. Ha ha. Here is the picture. I was able to do both!


The main point being of course, that Dave is in fact TALL! The poor guy. Also, he hates pigeons. That pretty much sums him up. And to add one final insult, Dave, I'll call you a sheep's bleeting noise. You're maaaaaaaaa. I've never understood that one, but that's what makes it so good. How can you make a comeback against an insult you don't understand? By repeating it back at the person who slagged you I suppose. That's what everyone in school did. Hopefully Dave won't think of that.

Anyway even if he does slag me back I don't care. I'll go hang out with my friends, who are all cool. We even have our own special sayings that only we understand. I'm going to talk to them right now in fact, cos they'll all comment on this page now that I've satisfied their desire for entertainment.

25 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. You are so funny Jimlad. It is a privelage to be named your fan.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He was talking about me. How's it going Jimlad?

6:34 PM  
Blogger jimlad said...

Hi Stigmund. Not too bad. But I was talking about all of you, you know?

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know. Shplick.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shplick.

6:37 PM  
Blogger jimlad said...

Shazzy wickkhe!

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What does Shazzy wickkhe mean? I've never heard these terms before.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, just an "in" expression in our group. We don't like you Goodthink. You try to bring the man down. You should learn to take a beating, like me.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even I agree that jimlad is supreme, and I could demolish the falacies that lie at the heart of your world by immersing you in a blissful bath of logic. You'd be so happy you wouldn't even mind. You'd be grateful even.

6:43 PM  
Blogger jimlad said...

Well, look guys, I'm gonna have to leave you on that note. Got stuff to do, you know? You can stay here as long as you like. Just lock the door when you're finished. Remember, no gossiping!

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't been reading anything much lately, but James' blog made me laugh out loud on my own. Which I was doing anyway, at my own reflection, as the Babette in the mirror seems to have acquired a pair of spectacles, and they just keep on bringin' it funny style. Incidentally, "spectacles" was one of the many words my little sister and I used for breasts when we were little kids. I do not know why. It still makes us laugh, though.

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know we're not supposed to talk about others behind their back, but I just have to say, what Jimlad was saying about his musical talent, it's all true! He's even better than me!

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me too.

6:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Look at those drawings! He's even a better artist than I am! Jimlad is sooo cool.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shplick

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shazzy wickkhe!

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only reason I don't post is because I know jimlad is so much funnier than I am.

7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, does anyone know it was actually me who helped Jimlad come up with the catchphrase, "Shplick"?

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wha..? No! You can't be taking credit for that! It was me! He spends all his time with me, making up cool catchphrases for the gang!

7:04 PM  
Blogger jimlad said...

Hi guys, I'm back. I just forgot to bring my phone with me, and you know how important that is for someone as popular as me! Hope no one was fighting?

Wait... There's no one here. This was all in my imagination.

Sigh. What's the point. I may as well admit it. Every single one of these characters is fictitious. I made up their web pages, their backgrounds, everything. They don't even exist in real life. I have no friends.

7:07 PM  
Blogger neuro-praxis said...

Ferry funny. Ferry, ferry funny. Now. Why amn't I at church?!

11:03 AM  
Blogger jimlad said...

Because... Ok, it's because I don't exist either. I'm sorry. I tried to pretend that I was somebody, but I'm giving in. I'm a nobody. You will never see me again now that you realise this fact.

6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is Jimlad using Stigmund's account. This is the first genuine comment from him. Eh, me. All others were from his fans. From everyone else. Yes. Er, carry on.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Babette said...

Jimlad did you comment on my behalf on your own blog? I feel so violated.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Babette said...

also, how did you...?

1:12 PM  

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