jimlad shakes hands with Babette.
I was attempting to explore the accuracy of my first ever blog post, "loo" when I noticed that bathrooms remind me of heaven. Not that I've ever been to heaven, but I've seen enough films to recognise in the bathroom that same white light that bathes everything in calm optimism. For a moment I thought, "Amazing. Perhaps I was wrong in my previous appraisal of such matters." I said this a little too loudly, arousing some odd looks when I came downstairs for breakfast, but I take no notice of people who have the gall to form an opinion of my character.
I am never to be judged. I never make a mistake, for as I reached for the toilet paper I felt this horrid sinking feeling that would get one thrown out of a place as wonderful as heaven, where negative emotions are outlawed. As I reached for the toilet paper my world degenerated. As I reached for the toilet paper I noticed that it wasn't there. Have you ever been in that sort of position, where your nice innocent viewpoint is violently taken to pieces by harsh reality? Bathrooms are not heaven! They are not loos! They are rotten dungpots and I hate them!
Suddenly, as if things couldn't get any worse, this disappointment also used up the last of my stock of moral fibre. Suddenly, I realised that life is just one big disappointment. Finally, I realised that I was actually getting married in FIVE DAYS! Five days until marriage, which Zoomtard and Neuro both tell me is the biggest disappointment one will ever face.
Toilet's are evil places.
Avoid them.
I am never to be judged. I never make a mistake, for as I reached for the toilet paper I felt this horrid sinking feeling that would get one thrown out of a place as wonderful as heaven, where negative emotions are outlawed. As I reached for the toilet paper my world degenerated. As I reached for the toilet paper I noticed that it wasn't there. Have you ever been in that sort of position, where your nice innocent viewpoint is violently taken to pieces by harsh reality? Bathrooms are not heaven! They are not loos! They are rotten dungpots and I hate them!
Suddenly, as if things couldn't get any worse, this disappointment also used up the last of my stock of moral fibre. Suddenly, I realised that life is just one big disappointment. Finally, I realised that I was actually getting married in FIVE DAYS! Five days until marriage, which Zoomtard and Neuro both tell me is the biggest disappointment one will ever face.
Toilet's are evil places.
Avoid them.
posted by jimlad at 9:57 PM
2 Comments:
Just so you know, I haven't used a toilet since this post.
Next time you decide to teach your readers summit, try to make it less awkward.
Thanks.
It's Missileanus Meanderings- like Missile Anus. That's been bothering me. Forget your honeymoon- correct your incorrect links!
And update.
Thanks.
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