Things that iritate me

Lately I've been getting quite irritable. Normally nothing much gets on my nerves. It must be my new job. For instance, every time I say, "This is about office tea cups" people think I've just said, "This is a bout of fisticuffs" and start punching at me, with me weaving back away and hitting my head off the wall. I'm getting paranoid now. I've started arranging to talk to people far away from any nearby walls when I need to say, "This is about office tea cups" to them, which is really difficult. The thing about nearby walls is, as soon as you go far away from them they aren't nearby walls any more. They morph in some really weird way that I can't describe or even understand so that they become instead distant walls, and then I have to go back to them and start again. I haven't figured it out yet because just as I'm starting to get my head around it (it always takes a few tenuous walks away, a few quick spurts and cautious returnings to the spot beside the wall) someone comes over and says, "What's this all about?" and I say... well you know what I say since you already know what it's about. I just don't know what to do. I don't even work in an office. I can't remember how the whole thing started. That's all that irritates me really, but it is very irritating.