jimlad in the workplace.

Grrr. I can't think. grrrrrr. I have a head cold. My left nostril is leaking, as is my left eyeball, and I'm sure some of it is leaking into my left brain (I have at least two brains) , because I can't think so good.

I'm in work, sniffing into the phone at occasionaly abusive customers. The customer on the phone right now isn't talking for some reason, so I am taking advantage of the free time to write in my blog. Obviously no one cares about my cold. No one has commented on this blog entry yet so they obviously don't care. At least Goatfiend said awww when I told him my left eye had a cold. He is drinking coffee.

Oh, they've finally hung up. Woo hoo, they've rung up again. My left eye is crying. It makes me feel sorry for myself, in case you haven't noticed. My right eye is watering up now too. They still aren't talking. I wonder is there something wrong with my phone. I hope so. When will I be given a furious thinking blog? I have at least three brains! Zoomtard is supposed to email me about it. Furious thinking is an amazing group of people. Normally, a person who I consider to be cool has to be either aloof, elite or elect. Oh, they've hung up again. Grr. I have to talk to someone now.

Ah back to my blog. The aloof are those who scoff at anything that is trendy, pointing out the logical inconsistancies of the day. They include the musical aloof, such Liam McD, who scoff at NME. For example, the Strokes are a good band. You can tell they're great even if you don't like them by noting my opinion. However, they have also become trendy, so it's defenestration for them in Liamo's Tower. Furious thinkers are culturally aloof.

The elite are those who are genuinely great. Only, the aloof still consider them worthy of criticism. The elite ignore this because they are actually better than the aloof. Examples of the difference might be art historians like Curly Dee as opposed to artists like lots of people in the family I am leaving to be with her. Why am I leaving them then? Because I am also one of the aloof, and it is a lonely if lofty state. The aloof need someone to appreciate them, to make them feel elite, as it were, even if they are soft like a cushion. There are also examples of musical elite, such as people like Liam McD, who is much better even than good bands such as The Strokes. However, they are, Ah yes it's the end of the day. What a horrible day. I wonder how many lives I have messed up by being too stupid to do what customers wanted because of this cold.

The elect are those who don't have to be great and don't have to have an opinion. Their opinion is often formed for them. They know they are cool by default. They have been elected to be cool, which makes them cool, but they are neither hot nor cold and will get spitted out. Wait, no that's wrong. But anyway. Aaaaaargh. I want to sleep.

Don't bother reading this by the way. It's nonsense. Not even supposed to be funny. Sorry Stig, you should have realised, if it were funny, I would have said, "bottom" by now, or suchlike. No, this is just me dealing with being stupid for the day. I hate head colds. Furious thinkers are culturally aloof, intellectually elite and just plain elect, which is why I want to be one. Farts are funny.

So, hopefully somewhere along the way in my ramblings I have convinced you to stop picking your nose. And I can't stress enough how important it is that you see two great films, "Shawn of the Dead" and "Walk the Line", so I didn't bother mentioning them at all. In fact, I'll just reverse what I just said, so that you will really want to see them when you see that I couldn't stress seeing them at all! ."eniL eht klaW" dna "daed eht nwahS" ,smlif taerg owt ees uoy taht si ti tnatropmi woh hguone sserts t'nac I dnA There, I've deleted it. Bye. Hi, sorry. Forgot my phone. Now, bye really.

A dangerously acrostic occurance.

Ambling beautifully, curly Dee emerged from Glendalough Hotel. I, jimlad kindly lent my new overcoat, positively quivering. Rotten sleet! Trotting urgently, valiantly we xcrified* yonder zone.

Oh dear. Whilst experimenting with language I seem to have inadvertantly given my fiancé a piggish persona. Well, since this is the first time I have named her online, she must henceforth be known as Curly Dee. She is however a bit sexier than Curly Wee, and in her defence she has never acted like a pig towards me yet.

But every great achievement requires sacrifice. If I have degraded the name of my beloved I have done so nobly, for behold! Two great discoveries have been made.

Firstly, we have found that by arranging a brief paragraph so that the words follow each other alphabetically, we automatically promote a sense of advance within the prose, even though when there is very little of note occurring. Incidentally, the text takes on a poetic note. Even though we are taught about acrostic poems in school, it is very easy to forget that it is just as powerful as rhyme is, albeit subtler.

Secondly, a new word has entered the english language, created by none other than jimlad himself!


* xcrify: to leave a place with such hurried abhorance that it is actually more true to say that the place is leaving you. As one exits, the situation is crucified in one's mind, and if one is to ever return there it must be resurrected from death.**

** Glendalough Hotel is a lovely place, but that sleet was no normal sleet. It was made of blood and guts! Not a nice experience, just stepping out of the door when VOOM, a sudden downpour of snow mixed with blood. I actually can't remember anything about it since we xcrified the area, but it must have happened seeing as I wrote about it just now.